Dear Dakota:

Dear Dakota:

I have been trying to impress a cute girl in my class. Since we are having our Valentine's Day party at school today, I figured that this is my best shot. Let me tell you, I worked feverishly on a masterpiece that is sure to win her heart...

What do you think? Will this Valentine's box woo my woman over?

-Charismatic Cody

Dear Charismatic:

Although it is clear that you have made a valiant attempt at expressing your love through your art, I am doubtful that this gesture will grasp the attention that you are seeking. Please take my advice: ditch the truck and get your girl some chocolate. I know if someone gave me chocolate, I would be their best friend forever....anyone have any chocolate for dear ol' Dakota???

Carlson Vindicated: Second Place Win Confirmed

Pack 110 held their annual Pinewood Derby last weekend. After winning his 12th race of the day, officials called Sully Carlson back to the garage for an inspection. Because of the top speeds he was reaching, officials were concerned that the car did not meet race specifications. Confirmation came quickly that the car did indeed meet weight and size requirements for the derby race. After the inspection, Sully went on to tie for first place, losing only in the final round. He will appear in the District Finals in March. Sully also won second place last year.

Dear Dakota Writer Featured on Letterman

Carlson Times' own editorial writer was highlighted on Late Night With David Letterman, last night. During the segment called "Stupid Human Tricks," Dakota demonstrated how she can blow bubbles in her cereal milk to the tune of Mamma Mia! Her musical ability so impressed the audience, that music producer, Clive Davis, contacted Dakota following the show. Our sources informed us that Mr. Davis is interested in producing a record, featuring Dakota and her bubble magic. Efforts to reach Mr. Davis were unsuccessful, and Dakota is keeping her lips sealed regarding her musical endeavors. We will keep you informed on this developing story.